Co-workers

I suspect Sonyala, my 40-year old Iraqi co-worker, is an evil fembot. If they make another Austin Powers movie that calls for a female villain, I would highly recommend a character based off her likeness. She is cold, unemotional and mean most of the time. In all fairness, she may not be mean, it’s just that her demeanor would be described or interpreted as mean by anyone raised in Western culture. She is single and we know she has a sister and a niece, but that’s about it. It’s as if she’s a retired Special Ops Agent or something in that she doesn’t like to talk about her past, which makes her character kind of awesome. To amuse myself, I think of funny, strange or erotic things that, if said by her, would be amplified 20 fold in comedic value.

Example:

“I just ripped one”. Which, when said with her heavy arabic accent, would sound, “I jus rrript won”. Or, “I pleasured myself last night”, which, despite my age, always makes me giggle since I assume she, like most robots, has no reproductive organs.

Another co-worker is a 26-year-old guy named Jeremy, who works as a Teller. Actually, he isn’t so much a guy as he is just a boy. A pale, geeky 26-year-old lame, boring boy. I like Jeremy because he is polite and nice and has a dislike for the buffoon that rivals my own. However, Jeremy is simply a weak individual. If civilization were ever forced to revert back to the ways primitive times, Jeremy would be one of the first killed or treated like a woman. Jeremy is the boy you would go to if you needed to know the age of the comic book character Wolverine. I heard from the other girls that he make his wife’s Gyno appointments. He has also apparently made a pact with himself to never pop a zit no matter how disturbing it became to others. The other day I left the room during lunch because of the white-head he had growing on his lip. We were watching Family Feud and that little puss bubble just kept gyrating up and down…its all I could focus on.