The Buffoon’s Refrigerator

The Buffoon warned us on Monday afternoon that he may be late the following morning. His refrigerator went out. He lectured us on how hard it is to not have a refrigerator. He and his wife had lost all the food that was previously being kept cold. They didn’t have any ice. He “literally” had nothing to eat. He again mentioned that he had no ice. I jokingly set the over-under for his arrival at 12:45 pm on Tuesday.

The next morning he called at 10 am to tell me that the repair man hadn’t shown up but would now come later in the day, thus putting the Buffoon “on call, so to speak” for the remainder of the afternoon. However, the Buffoon would be making some sales calls near his house and be in later. Although I had gone to lunch, I was told that he walked in at 12:43 pm to everyone’s amusement. His worthless friend Booney followed in behind him and they began talking in the Buffoon’s office. The two of them do this at least once a week. The Buffoon feels justified spending hours hanging out with his friends as long as they have accounts with the bank.

A little while later a customer came in to discuss her overdraft charges. Managers are the only employees allowed to give back over draft charges. The customer went to one of the tellers who informed the customer of this fact and then called the Buffoon, who opted to refer the customer to me instead of dealing with the issue himself. Because the Buffoon answered the teller’s call on speaker phone and the branch was otherwise completely empty, this exchange was clearly heard by the customer. He heard the manager refer this task to me…after he’d been told that the manager was the only one who could handle this issue. So, the customer sat at my desk, where he recited the same story he’d told the teller only to hear me say that the manager was the only one who could handle over-drafts. When the customer flashed a puzzled look which expressed the obvious “Why didn’t I just talk to the manager instead of you?”, I nodded in agreement with a grin that confirmed “Yes, you are correct. This place is a complete shit-show”.

The Buffoon continued his friendly conversation with Booney while the customer and I waited, exchanging strange glances every 30 seconds or so. After four minutes of awkwardness, I opted to break protocol and refund a few of the charges, and the customer was then on his way. When the Buffoon came out of his hole and I informed him of what I’d done, he became quite upset, retelling me that only managers can refund over-draft charges. I explained the situation that had just transpired and he informed me that he was with a customer. I just nodded and grinned. This place is a shit show.