David is excellent at math. I know this because he told me today. In fact, he didn’t only tell me, he also demonstrated his abilities by hijacking the Sudoku puzzle I was working on. I’d found the puzzle on the break room table. It didn’t appear to belong to anyone, although it was clear someone... Continue Reading →
Never Skip Mondays
At some point in my life, I will probably stop drinking. Or put another way, at some point in my life, I will probably have to stop drinking. It's quite reasonable to foresee that at some time in the future, something will either force or heavily encourage me to relieve alcohol of its many duties and continue... Continue Reading →
David
Within three minutes of meeting him, I knew I didn’t like David. I didn’t hate him, but I definitely didn’t like him. It's funny how that works. David is the new manager who is replacing the Buffoon. He was already a manager at a different branch, but now has the misfortune of being transferred to... Continue Reading →
Good-Bye Buffoon
The Buffoon finally got canned today. I got back from lunch to learn that the Buffoon and Carl were having an unscheduled meeting. This was nothing new as our monthly numbers are once again awful and warrant a visit from the Regional Manager. What made everyone nervous was that they were in the conference room,... Continue Reading →
A Buffoon’s Endorsement
I would estimate that about every third or fourth comment the Buffoon utters makes me want to stab him in the neck. However, since my unique loathing of him has grown exponentially since the day we first met, I can no longer judge whether his comments are as awful as I perceive them to be... Continue Reading →
Bad Hops Aren’t Errors
Baseball was the only sport I played while I was growing up. I lived in the south and the weather permitted leagues to operate year-round. The high school team's season lasted from January to May and then summer league continued through August. After that there was usually some low-key winter league that played in Fall. ... Continue Reading →
A Non-comprehensive List of the Douche Bags at a Gym Near You
Works-out-with-his-girlfriend guy: This could actually be titled "makes-his-girlfriend-work-out-with-him guy", because more often than not, it's the women who appears embarrassed by the situation. Just for clarification, I am not referring to anyone who goes to the gym with a girlfriend or even shows a girlfriend how to do a certain exercise. No, I am referring... Continue Reading →
Twins
“Can I help you guys?”, I said to the interesting fellows standing in front of me. “Yes”, the first one said. “Is (the Buffoon) around?”, the second one continued. “Yeah, I think he’s in the back. Let me go grab him”, I said as I stood and walked towards the kitchen area. I found the... Continue Reading →
Soup
The Buffoon was truly on-point today. I walked into his office after he had summoned me with a computer question. "Well, why's my computer keep freezing up?", he asked as though his intent was to stump me. "I don't know. Sometimes they just freeze up.", I dryly replied to make him immediately aware of how... Continue Reading →
Road Out Ahead
Near my house, there is an enormous park which attracts hundreds of people on the weekends. The park consists of a large, open stretch of grass along with several long trails that trek through miles of wooded area. Although most of these are dirt trails, there are also a few paved, one-way roads that wind... Continue Reading →
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